Skip to main content

Welcoming Authentic Change Despite Fear by Lori Marini


Change. The word alone makes most of us cringe. Unless a person has done a lot of self-development, as humans, most of us do not like change unless we are at the helm of it. 


Change is tricky. Change is scary. If things are outside of our control, we mostly will challenge any form of change: small changes like your partner switching the side of the bed you sleep on or significant changes like your being forced to take a 6:30 am virtual meeting when your day typically begins at 9:00 am.


But before you are able to embrace a welcome change, you must first dig deep and look into the root cause of why your reaction the way it is to the change. 


Is it something you did in the past that didn't work out the way you intended? Is it ingrained in you based on an experience in your childhood? Or is this something that you've never encountered before and you don't know how to be? Is it clear that all of the above require you first to accept what is? Reality


Acceptance of how you are, how others are, and the world's current status allows us to focus on the core of the issue and create an alternative way of being that will ultimately result in positive change. 


For example, sometimes this change is minimal, like deciding not to have sugar in your coffee. Other times this change is life-changing, like cutting sugar out of your diet entirely because you are borderline diabetic. Both of these changes are challenging yet result in a positive outcome of fewer cavities and less need for insulin. 


But what happens when change is not something you anticipated? 


The first step in approaching change that may have taken you by surprise is to understand this is not personal. Allowing this fact to sink to the core of your being is empowering and will free you to see the real reason why you are bothered. This nugget also serves as a reminder that some change has nothing to do with you. Get that change is just happening all around you and grazes your world.  


Second, get that no matter what you say or do, sometimes you must surrender to the "what's so". Meaning if the decision has already made (i.e. your coworker has been promoted over you, your favorite corner coffee shop is closing, or your bestie decides they are moving across the country).  These things are not happening because you are a terrible person or have bad karma. They are happening independently of your behavior and sometimes there is no room for negotiation. You must accept that they are happening and you may not be happy with the change.


Third, look for alternative ways on how you can create positive and effective change in your life. Believe it or not, most change IS within our control. Being successful with change is 100% tied to your acceptance of yourself (the good and bad) and the circumstances at hand. I like to think of it as our fight or flight response. With accepting change, you ultimately have two choices: 1. You can get on the roller coaster and enjoy the ride since you are already anticipating the loss of control.  2. You can cry the whole way down, kicking and screaming because the operator has wronged you. How dare he?!


In every moment in life, you have the power of acceptance and change. 


Your in-the-moment decisions, the reactionary ones that come from a place deep down where you stuff all of your anger, hurt, and mistrust from long ago, will always have you behaving in a way you may regret. 


It's imperative when confronted with change, ask yourself why am I not being accepting? Is this my true self or is this reaction from a decision I made long ago and stuffed it deep down inside? 


Recognizing this differentiation in the present moment is crucial to responding to change with acceptance and love.


Namaste


P.S. You can free yourself of your old ties by doing the self-work AND we are here to support you in your journey. Just reach out. xo


~Lori Marini


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Meet Wendy Rae, Founder and Publisher of Our Soul Oasis

  Dr. Rev. Wendy Rae. D.D. is an ordained minister, Usui Reiki Master Teacher, folk herbalist, and the publisher and founder of Our Soul Oasis. Her services have helped people from all over the world heal the mind, body, and soul connection. Wendy has personally studied and trained with Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith of Agape, Inc in Los Angeles, Tony Robbins, & David Dorian Ross, a 3 time U.S. Olympic Medalist of Tai Chi. Wendy is a stroke survivor, herbalist, and plant guru. She teaches others how to heal themselves through various modalities of alternative healing. She teaches herbal remedy making, gives plant walks and herb workshops, and is a Reiki Master Teacher since 2002. "It is absolutely an honor to be here, sharing my knowledge and my experiences with you. I hope you walk away from my work standing a little taller and knowing that you, too, really can do anything you set your mind to." You can connect with Wendy at The Alchemy of Enlightenment to lea

You Are My Property! by Lucie Hanzlickova

This is a strong statement, right? But have you ever felt like you have been someone's property? Coercive power is a form of Domestic Violence. Some men think they can treat women like property and some women treat men like property. I don't like to compare women to physical property, but if I am going to play this game : How will the property look like when there is no caring, no respect, no love, no repairs, and no investment in it from the person who owns it?! What is left from a woman/property then? What will the inner world of this woman look like? How damaged is her "property" when there is nothing left to take or destroy? Cracks, empty falling walls, broken glass, holes in the ceiling.... No protection from storms and rain falling from the sky, keeping everything damp and cold. I usually write in a positive attitude, but I think sometimes it just doesn't hit the nail on the head. I want you to shake you and wake you up! If people want to treat other peopl

Wanting Change Doesn't Mean You Will Change

by Dov Baron We’ve all heard it time and time again - your brother, coworker, spouse, or friend is going to change. People love to talk about all the habits they’ll be breaking (or creating), the goals they’ll be setting, and the changes they’ll be making. And while they likely believe that they mean it, the reality is: they don’t. How can I be so sure? Well, most people aren’t willing to do what it takes to actually change! In almost 25 years of leading and coaching, what I’ve found is that most people will say they want change, or agree that they need to change, but only if…. If they don’t have to be inconvenienced. If they don’t have to give up being comfortable. If they can hold on to everything from their “pre-change” life that they like. What it boils down to is this: “People want to change...as long as they don’t have to change”. Before you point the finger - this is true of you too. Every goal in life that you’ve set but not achieved, every habit you intended to break bu